Nor am I boring myself to death with dating apps - I find swiping left on unattractive mating prospects to be demeaning,’ and then they say ‘Fie, for shame! You call yourself Doorman!’ They think ‘What, are you going to become a priest?’ then they pause an add, ‘I mean, a celibate priest?’ And I say, ‘No, I’m open to having a partner, I’m just not desiring it, for fear that such desiring would ruin the Now. Then we come to my not actively looking for a partner.
(Besides, we should point out that trying not to have goals would be a goal in and of itself). Not too indifferent, not too attached, but juuuuust right. So you see, there is something like a goal there, but it’s in this delightful Goldilocks Zone. I’m also writing a book.’ And they say ‘don’t you have targets?’ and I say, ‘Would you like me to pull a number out of my backside? The Alchemist sold only one copy in the first six months on the shelves.’ And I say ‘No, like right now, I want to get out of this pointless conversation with you. When you say to someone ‘I don’t see the value in goals’ or ‘I’m not necessarily looking for a partner’ they take this statement to the wildest possible extreme (usually the Negligent Zone), normally because of their ego adjusting to a novel concept. The middle zone is one I’ve come to call ‘The Goldilocks Zone’ - the place of non-attachment. You’d be reading a self-help book, and then next thing you know, you’re a twenty-one year-old life coach.īut there’s a problem with the English Language - we’re missing levels within words. Romantic relationships, friendships, health, career, your goals (if you’re foolish enough to have them)… you can’t even get too caught up in the search for Enlightenment and meaning.
The ‘Goldilocks Zone’ - Avoid caring too little, or too much, about anything.Įverything in life tastes better with non-attachment.
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